Mitchell Brant has a problem. Five years have elapsed between the end of The Eye-Dancers and the start of The Singularity Wheel, and numerous life events have taken place in the interim, but for Mitchell, there is still only one girl he longs to be with, one girl who has captured the secret inner chambers of his heart. Heather. The girl he met, five years ago, in the alternate town of Colbyville, the girl from a thousand universes away. His friends tell him to let her go. What’s the point of wishing you could be with someone so unattainable, so far away the mind cannot even begin to comprehend the distance?
But logic, practicality, reason cannot cut through. Mitchell thinks of her all the time, imagines she is right there beside him, a smile on her face. He cannot turn off his feelings, tell his soul to forget what it yearns for.
Love is like that.
****************************
In a third-season Twilight Zone episode called “The Trade-Ins,” a similar dilemma presents itself. John and Marie Holt are an elderly couple–he is 79; she is 74. What’s more, Mr. Holt is in declining health, often wracked by intense and ever-increasing bouts of pain. But a new hope exists in the futuristic world where they find themselves. The New Life Corporation shines like a beacon on a cold, dark night.
The New Life Corporation specializes in “youth, new life, rebirth,” the salesman at the office, a Mr. Vance, explains to the Holts. They have the technology to switch an elderly person’s body, or a sick person’s body, with a new body, a body that is “perfect in composition, concept, and construction.” All the while, the person who makes this anatomical switch will retain all of their memories, personality, and emotions. As Mr. Vance tells the Holts, even after the switch, physiologically and psychologically they will be exactly the same. The only difference will be that each of them will be placed in a younger body, “in the prime of health.” They are told the average life span of a New Life body is 112 years.
And then he shows them the models. All are attractive, in perfect physical condition. But the Holts decide on the bodies of a young couple–a couple that, following the procedure, will be them. Mr. Vance tells them they will have an entire new life before them–they will return to the beginning, in the full flower of youth. Old age will be but a memory.
But then the price comes up. Mr. Vance explains the model couple comes as a package deal of $10,000, surely a bargain, he says, considering all the Holts will gain. Perhaps. The Holts, however, only have $5,000. And Mr. Vance will not accept it as a down payment. There are rules, he says, government-mandated, that require the full payment, up front.
Mr. Vance then pitches a half-deal. “One of you could get it,” he says. The $5,000 the Holts have is enough for John or Marie to switch into a youthful, healthy body. Marie encourages John to do it–he will be free of his pain, and she assures him, “I can wait”–until they can scrounge up the remaining $5,000 for her switch.
John does not commit, though. “We can’t be separated,” he says. “We’re no good without each other.”
Desperate, his pain worsening, John later locates a back room in a bar, where a high-stakes poker game is under way. He has the $5,000, hoping he can gamble his way to the $10,000 he and his wife would need to acquire new bodies as a couple. But John is out of practice, a naive and woeful poker player. It is only the compassion and empathy of the gamblers he goes up against that saves him. Observing the pain John is in, listening to his story, the gamblers allow him to leave with his $5,000, choosing not to “clean him out,” as they assure him they could.
His pain continuing to escalate, John decides to undergo the switch, by himself, with his wife’s blessing. “Yes, yes, yes,” she tells him, over and over when they return to the New Life Corporation. She wants him to be pain-free, to go through with the procedure.
And when he emerges hours later a young man, running and doing various calithsenics, amazed at how energetic and strong he feels, he joyfully tells Marie, “Do you know what happens now? . . . We’ll do everything we haven’t been able to do. The big things, the little things, the crazy, illogical things that we were too old, too sick, and too tired to do. Every day is going to be a wedding, every afternoon a reception, and every evening a honeymoon. Marie, my darling, you and I are going to begin to live! We’re going to–”
But here, Marie steps away, covers her face with her hands, looks at this strange young man in horror. He is her husband, and yet . . . he is not. Not anymore. Their eyes meet. She is 74. He is 22. They no longer match, no longer a unit, a team, lifetime partners. The procedure has created a gulf between them, unspoken but undeniable. John’s eyes are just as wide, just as understanding as his wife’s.
Mr. Vance tells John to come with him to sign some papers. They leave. And when, later, John reemerges, he is old again, the young body gone, the tired, pain-riddled body returned.
“Marie, my darling,” he says. “If I have to have occasion of pain, so be it. I wouldn’t want it any other way, darling.”
When she protests, he stops her with a Robert Browning quote she herself had uttered earlier in the episode.
“Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made.”
And then they walk off . . . together.
Rod Serling’s closing narration sums it up tenderly:
“From Khalil Gibran’s The Prophet: ‘Love gives not but itself and takes not from itself, love possesses not nor would it be possessed, for love is sufficient unto love.’ Not a lesson, just a reminder, from all the sentimentalists–in The Twilight Zone.”
*********************************
For a few weeks now, I have been AWOL on WordPress. There is a reason for that. I went back home, to Rochester, New York, the city where I was born, where I grew up. But this time, I went back because someone close to me–so close to me–was, suddenly, near the end. There were endless days in the ICU, walking the long, long hallway, turning the corner, calling in, visiting, hours spent by the bedside, the machines beeping, the respirator pumping air into lungs that could no longer breathe on their own. Then there were funeral preparations, time spent with family, mourning a devastating loss, grieving. Reflecting.
There were tears, so many tears. Tender moments. Heartbreaking moments. Memories. Discussions with doctors and nurses, trying to pry an ounce of hope out of a hopeless situation, seeking some possible path, some new and groundbreaking treatment. But there was none.
And all I could do when it was over was to say–I love you, Mom. I will miss you always.
*******************************
In the days leading up to this post, I had intended to end it there. But then something happened. Something remarkable.
I returned to my current home in Vermont recently, a day removed from the funeral and after being in Rochester for the better part of two weeks. I had to try to get back into a routine, to go back to work. To live and carry on. But then, first thing the following morning, I noticed something in the basement.
Let me back up. We have a walkout basement. It leads to the garage. Every time I leave the house or come back, I walk through the basement. And in the back corner, there is an old light fixture, a simple naked bulb screwed in to a socket attached to the ceiling. The thing is, last spring, the chain that turns this light on or off became stuck. The light was on, but I couldn’t switch it off. I yanked on the chain–too hard. It broke, severed like a mowed grass blade, falling to the concrete floor. There was no way to turn off the light. So I unscrewed it, removed it from the socket, and replaced it with a dead, burnt-out bulb. The socket was “on,” but the bulb was a dud, and so it stayed dark.
Until that morning–my first full day back in Vermont following the funeral. When I went down into the basement, I was surprised to see the bulb was lit. It had been dead when I screwed it in last May, had been dark all through the summer, fall, and winter. But now it was on. A dead bulb come to life. An oxidized, broken-apart filament burning brightly. And instantly I knew.
It was a message, a very personal one, from a mother to her son. An assurance. A comfort. A lesson and a reminder.
That of all things, and across all time and space, eternal, bridging dimensions, spanning life and death, gentle but unyielding, conquering the darkness with light, love remains.
Love endures.
Thank you for letting me know, Mom. Thank you for showing me.
And thank you to everyone, as always, for reading.
–Mike
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